Breathe

Air

Breath: it should be a given:
For many right now, it feels on many levels, that there is so little air.

Any asthmatic will tell you how impossible it is to get a gasp of air during an asthma attack. 
And when some well meaning person says: Just relax and breathe…Take a deep breath… 

 Are you kidding? 

People respond differently when they cannot breathe.  Some pretend that there is all the air they need, even when they are suffocating.  Some want all the air for themselves at the expense of anybody else. 

Any survivor will tell you how impossible it was to breathe when they were not safe, and how difficult it still may be to breathe under stress.

Then –the gasp for survival that is the constant in black, brown, indigenous, and immigrant lives.

Air.

 And the earth:  as the lungs of the world are being burned.
as the planet heats up and forces us to gasp.
as the entire population of humanity struggles through this pandemic, for air, for life.

 Some grasp as they gasp.

 Air.

When a woman is giving birth, there is a moment or an hour when her breath is short.  All she can do is blow and push --but then again, maybe she needs to wait to push even if her body is screaming to let go… 

Even if it seems like there is no deep pocket of air, the world itself is in such a giant transition—one great act of giving birth.  It is bloody and messy –but it will happen nevertheless.…whether we like it or not , with or without enough air.

We are in this great reckoning together, no matter where we sit, no matter who we are.

We breathe—deep or shallow.   
We will also grow, deep or shallow…giving birth, no matter how long it takes.

So breathe the air as best you can.
And when the time is right, push.

This is and isn’t the beginning.

Advice for the newly hatched.

Later, you will admire the tree you came from – its artistic notches, the flourish of branch and bark, the sweet density of leaf and blanket of shade, how the view often tilted in your favor – skyward – where clouds drifted into whatever shapes you wanted them to be. You will tell stories of your past in the way of myth, each vignette pearlescent as dew. You will pluck good fruit from the old stems, and the skin will still be soft and yielding. For now, though, offer your betrothal to this strange, quaking new body. Admire the heated voltage of your fear, your blood circling the drain. Remember you are merely at the outskirts of your own ballast, that the swaying will go on for awhile, and then it won’t, and then it will again.
This is and isn’t the beginning. This is and isn’t the end.

-MAYA STEIN
 for C.

Image complements of www.pixabay.com

This is and isn’t the beginning. This is and isn’t the end…

If you are on the front lines, the situation feels endless, and utterly overwhelming.

You don’t have time, you can’t exercise, you are witnessing unimaginable suffering…
If you are in quarantine, the situation feels endless—you are hamstrung.
Your kids may be struggling. You may be bored or lonely, or have found some new ways to have peace or perspective, to be grateful, to be hopeful. As you are in the struggle on race and racial justice, it is exhausting and endless. Yes it is, and we go on because this matters.

Stay awake. Stay tuned in, as best you can. Don’t beat yourself up when you can do neither.
This is and is not the beginning. This is and is not the end.

and now this:

Some reflections from Hope Springs

And now…some reflections from our TBO participants who came to the Weekend of Recovery in Hope Springs. May, 2019

“The TBO weekend was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. The facilitators are very skillful, attentive, and compassionate, and they work well together as a team. The sense of community that is created in a few short days is amazing. Some of the exercises took me pretty far outside my comfort zone, but I felt very supported, and was able to go deeper into this healing work than I expected. I was challenged, but also felt safe enough and supported enough to explore experiences that were new to me. I left the weekend feeling more connected with my body than I have ever felt before. I feel that there are many new pathways to healing that are open to me. I know that this is not the end of my healing journey, but a new beginning.”

“A life-changing event, allowing me to fully embrace myself, not as a victim, or even as a survivor, but as someone who can thrive in this world. The weekend reminded me that I am "me" not my trauma. Looking around the room, knowing that each of those beautiful human beings have a similar story, knowing that I see them and appreciate them as beautiful souls, helps me realize that I'm one of those beautiful souls. I am not separate. We are all connected. Apart of this world. We are not walking alone. That reminder....it's an incredible gift!”

I made connections to strangers that became family within days. I know they are there for me and I'm there for them. We have been able to become vulnerable with each other and borrow strength from one another when needed.

“Sexual abuse removes us from community and creates the false security of isolation. Participating in a TBO weekend creates a community reflective of the environment in which I live that is safe to be authenticated, vulnerable and powerful. Bringing that experience back home allowed me to be more compassionate not only with those around me, but with myself as well.”

“I am "starting to see clearly now".....thanks to an accepting and non-judgemental weekend among loving caring people...a unique experience for me”

WELCOME!

We are proud that Taking Back Ourselves is a stand-alone non-profit organization.

This page will bring you news, coming events, and hopefully inspiration.

We continue to be committed to offering Weekends of Recovery to women in need of scholarships.  Please spread the word as we increase our efforts to make Weekends affordable to every person who registers. And, thank you for your support and for all you do to empower survivors in their lives.